Her dreams were chaotic and full of pain. A gushing river of destruction roared through her mind, churning up images of skyships and blood, mortars and medical readouts, regents and Admirals. The Suri's swam amongst tiders and drunken revellers in a giant thunderfall of consciousness, whilst Graves, Travis, Xiu and dozens of other hoppers both lost and present drowned under the flow of mental detritus.
And at the centre of it all, always screaming, was Kal.
At one point her mind conjured the images Canhos's examination room, screens and displays surrounding her until she was apparently in a sphere of information that seemed to physically assault her nerve endings in bright coronas of varying colours. Except instead of her blood samples, the displays showed images of the attacks - although the skyships sailed not in the air, but on water - and instead of the Capital, it was First Province with the Royal Court standing at its centre. Kal's face periodically appeared in the displays, his silent, wordless screams quickly engulfed in fire. Over and over.
Then suddenly she was back in the escape tunnel, Heiress Suri being carried off as she lay there helpless. Except that it wasn't water she lay in, it was blood, thick and viscous, and instead of Heiress Suri, it was Kal being carried away, slung over the tider’s shoulder. He looked at her helplessly, begging her to help him. Asking him why she had failed. He spoke no words she could recognise and yet she understood their meaning. She screamed and it seemed to last an eternity, echoing through the chasms of her mind. As she was swept up in the images of horror and carried along the current of uncontrollable thoughts her howls gradually transformed into dry coughs as she plummeted back towards wakefulness with a start.
Marina slowly opened her eyes, groaning and sputtering, her entire body protesting consciousness in seemingly every atom. She found herself in a softly lit, sterile looking room. The lights had been turned low and outside the window the fading light of dusk was smeared with the remains of smoke. She was in a bed, hooked up to monitors and medbags. Harmon Reed she assumed. She wasn't dead then. Unfortunately.
Opposite her, sitting casually in a chair, was Ashe. He too wore crumpled - and somewhat grubby - hospital fatigues and was hooked up to his own medbag attached to a mobile bracket.
"Welcome back, Ma’am," he croaked, raising his bottle of water in a small gesture of greeting. "I'm not sure how many beatings one woman can take but it's good to see you on the other side of it."
Everything flooded to the front of Marina's mind; the attack, the failures, the rage, the grief, the hatred. The dreams. She launched herself at the man with a growl but was pulled back to the bed by a bolt of pain that shot through her torso. Her body pinned her down in agonising spasms. She gasped and lay groaning.
"Are you okay?" Ashe asked.
"You..." Marina strained with the words. Her chest felt tight, and her throat raw. "It's your fault..."
"I'm not sure what you - "
"You!" Marina managed to roar before descending into a fit of pained coughing. She spat up a wad of bloody phlegm, it hit the floor with a wet plop.
"Kal's dead.....Kal's dead..." she managed, holding back the tears that threatened to escape her.
"Oh, Marina, I'm sorry..."
"I should have been there -" her rasping words filtered through clenched teeth. Practically a snarl. " -would have been there - if not for you and your...pointless revelry. I told you I needed to be there, to make sure he knew..." she trailed off. She could manage no more.
"If you'd have been there you'd be dead too. It could be argued that I saved your life - albeit unintentionally - but a little gratitude wouldn't go amiss," Ashe said, petulant anger tainting his voice.
"You were there and you're not dead!" Marina choked. "How is that fair? How come you got out! It's not possible."
Ashe paused, frowning. "I don't know...I don't remember much. I'm still not completely sure what's happened."
Marina turned away, any warmth completely absent from her voice.
"The Capital has fallen, you idiot. Our forces are in disarray and our ruling body all but destroyed. What part of that don't you understand."
An awkward silence fell. Marina fixed her gaze on her cracked datapad that sat dormant on the side table under the medbag. Her clothes and shoes were piled neatly nearby, barely illuminated by the soft glow of the monitors. She lay, unmoving, silently willing the man in front of him away, or dead.
"It's on the feeds. I know Minister Suri is dead, Lady Ophelia too" Ashe finally said. "Some, but not all of the Cabinet. Edric is due to take office as soon as inauguration plans can be put in motion. And the Heiress? Depending what channel you listen to she's either dead or missing."
"They took her," Marina grunted, quietly.
"Heiress Suri?"
"I was there...I could've...I let her go..." try as she might, she couldn't find the words. She couldn't seem to organise his thoughts. Kal's face hovered in her vision, haunting her.
"Yeah, they, er... they found you in the panic tunnel," Ashe said solemnly. "With Minister Suri...and the others."
"I was there... I tried to help. I responded to the call like a fool. I shouldn't have gone. I shouldn't have been there. I should have been grieving. But duty...always duty." She practically spat the last words. "Besides, Kal would have wanted me to go, so -" her voice choked. The taste of the irony in her mouth brought the barest of chuckles.
Ashe shuffled over to her slowly, and handed her a cup of water. She sipped.
"Some of the reports are saying that the Crimson Sunrise has her... that's a new one to me. You ever hear of it?"
Marina nodded. She had. An ornate, well armed vessel captained by an exceptionally devious tider whose name had fallen out of her head.
"I was right there, but I was so...the barracks...I went looking...I was too weak -"
"Don't blame yourself -"
"You don't understand! I was there, I could have saved her but I couldn't. My abilities - without my amps I -"
"What happened to your amps?" Ashe looked genuinely concerned, confused almost.
This was it, she had to come clean. Admitting it out loud felt like finally admitting it to herself. It made it real, tangible. Final.
"Something's happening to me, Ashe."
"What do you mean," he leaned forward. A look of sincerity on his face that Marina didn't think possible.
"I shouldn't have been at the Hall. The summons for ranking hoppers...I shouldn't have received it. It was a mistake."
"I don't follow."
"I can serve no more. I'm changing. My mutation is developing and I am not fit for duty. Suspended. Tests pending. Amps turned off. So I couldn't save her."
Ashe let out a long sigh.
"If you hadn't have gone -"
"Then they'd still be dead. I made no difference. I was in the wrong place, twice. And people died both times."
"Commander, you can't blame yourself for Kal -"
"I don't blame myself." Marina punctuated the accusation with a glare that she hoped radiated the hatred she felt.
Ashe stood, nearly tripping over his medbag bracket. His voice was still husky but he raised it as best as he could.
"Ma’am, with all due respect. Get over yourself." He gestured wildly with his non medbagged hand. "What about the dozens or hundreds of other people who weren't with their families last night? The hundreds of people who died alone, or missing someone? It's horrific, truly horrific. But I didn't force you to come, no one bent your arm, Ma’am. You made a choice. You're a grown woman. You made your decision. Truthfully, I invited you because I thought there was no way you'd show your face. You're cold, professional to a fault, and you treat most of your men as nothing but soldiers, not as people, not as actualised individuals. You are deeply flawed. Just like me. Just like everyone else. The difference is I don't try to hide mine and pretend I am something other than a human being full of mistakes and fears and selfishness.
"Kal did not die because you were out having a beer. He died because people out there hate that we have what they haven't. He died because somebody attacked our way of life. That is why he died, and why you survived. It was a horrible accident but I will not be held responsible for it, nor be made a scapegoat for your grief. Ma’am."
She stood, breathing heavily, surprised by his outburst, which had taken all his remaining energy. He plopped back down into his seat. Marina however, was already looking at the footage on her datapad. The alert had come in during Ashe's sanctimonious monologue and Marina was now frozen in a mixture of fury and shock. She couldn't move. The images played out on a loop.
"It was you," he said simply.
Ashe paused briefly. "Did - did you even listen to me!"
Marina held out her datapad, her glossy eyes not focused on anything. The shock had consumed her and the anger had paralyzed her. She felt Ashe take the device from her hands, then heard a gasp, then the sound of the device hitting the floor. The looping images of the assembled security cam footage flickered and danced in the corner of Marina's vision, the only thing moving in the low light.
The grainy images, finally recovered from the security archives, showed the assembled path of events. Tracked backwards and edited, from The Swan to the barracks. They showed the journey of Ashe and the mysterious woman. To his barracks, to his being dragged to the courtyard, to the explosion, and finally to the woman's journey out of the Capital. All of it date and time stamped and all of it encased in a file issuing a priority ABP on Corporal Ashe Marvel and the Unknown Female.
"You need to leave," Marina said simply.
"Marina, please...." Ashe shook his head, his own shock visibly overcoming him. The colour had drained from his face. He was clammy. "I didn't know."
"If you don't leave this room, I will use every fibre of my being to remove myself from this bed and kill you where you sit."
"I'm sorry....I'm sorry....." he held his face in his hands. "Oh God, I didn't know. I didn't know!"
"They're going to come for you, Ashe. They're probably already on their way. Court Guards, lawmen, hoppers, I doubt it matters who gets here first."
Ashe was pacing, panicking. His movements were frantic.
"Who is she? Who is she?" he hissed. "Oh no, oh God. I'm going to be sick." He doubled over, his breathing getting faster. "It's treason. It's treason."
He was gasping, almost crying in fact.
Marina could only watch. Numb.
"Help me Marina, please. Do something."
"No."
"You saw me - you were with me. She was just a girl. No one could have known."
"You killed my fiancé," Marina said simply. "You killed hundreds of people. You led tiders to our doorstep."
The tears finally came. Ashe cried, quietly.
"If you turn yourself in, the law courts may be lenient."
"They'll execute me. What is it now, firing squad? Hanging?" He let out a violent sob.
"Probably," Marina said coldly.
"No!" Ashe said through tears. He grabbed the chair and swung it towards the door, wedging it underneath the handle. He stood by it, his shoulders shuddering. Then he grabbed the side table and used it to barricade the door further before pulling the medbag tube from his arm and using the stand as a further obstacle.
"That won't keep them out," Marina said. She was almost laughing. The entire absurdity of the last three days had suddenly taken on a humourous distance. The constant tragedy, the deaths, the grief, the wave of injuries and bad news. It couldn't possibly get any worse at least.
"And so the career of the great Ashe Marvel comes to an end. As a murderer, and traitor and all because he decided to mount the nearest thing that fed his ego." Marina was laughing heartily now, she couldn't stop. Each outburst made her body ache, but it felt good. It seemed like forever since she'd last laughed.
"I'm sorry for what happened for Kal -"
"Don't you say his name!" Marina roared. The laughing abruptly stopped.
"It wasn't my fault! How was I to know!" Ashe threw the medbag aside in anger and it burst against the wall. Clear, sweet smelling liquid trickled to the floor. "I will not be strung up like an animal, like some common molester. I will not be humiliated. I will not go down in history swinging from a noose. I have to think of my family. The shame, the abuse that will bring. I will not leave this world as a traitor to the people I have sworn to protect."
"Sworn to protect?" Marina snorted. "You wouldn't protect anyone. You're a coward. A show off. Even now, you can't face your end in a dignified manner. You have no interest in serving the Capital."
"And what did serving get you, Marina? Doting on the great noble ideal? It got you a freakish mutation, a destroyed home, a short lived career, and a dead fiancé."
The words were like a slap. But almost sobering in their brutality. A strange respect for Ashe bubbled up and vanished as quickly as it came.
"You're right," Marina said simply. "I have nothing left. Everything I've worked for, and fought for is gone. I failed to protect my kin and my government. There is nothing left for me here now. Except, maybe, a lifetime under a microscope."
The sounds of marching footsteps now thumped down the hallway outside. Ashe's gaze darted to the window.
"Time's ticking, Marvel."
"Then come with me," Ashe said. "Let's put this right. You've failed the Heiress? Then let's go get her. They must have taken her for a reason. She's not dead. Let's put it right. You say you've lost everything, that you have nothing left? Then don't let everything that's happened - everything you've lost - be for nothing."
"You can't escape punishment, Marvel."
"I can if I return with Heiress Suri. I can't do it on my own though. I'm not brave. I'm not strong. I am a coward. You're right. You always have been about me."
The footsteps stopped outside the door, it thudded as the men outside tried to open it.
"Marvel! It's Sargent Green. Open the door. We know you're in there."
Marina could see the shapes of several Court Guards through the small glass window. Ashe wedged the chair under further. Then without thought, he picked up the medbag bracket and hurled it towards the window, shattering the pane. He dashed over and looked out.
"Marvel! Don't do anything stupid!" Sargent Green shouted.
"Won't hurt too much," Ashe said, looking out towards the ground. He turned to Marina. "Let's do this together. You may have let Heiress Suri go, but the city's blood is on my hands. Let me repent, or try to. You say there is nothing here for you? Well all I have is a noose."
"Which you'll never escape," Marina said simply.
"When we have her - and we will get her - when we have shown the tiders the fury of Equatorial District, then I will gladly die by your blade. If that's what's required to balance the scales, you can do it. I'll die by your hand. Anything is better than being left here to be publically strung up or shot in the face."
He was perched on the window ledge, kicking out the last remaining fragments of glass with bare feet.
"You can't run, Ashe."
"Then keep a watch over me. You're an honourable woman, Commander."
"Everyone knows your face."
"I've got my tricks, you have to learn them in my field," he said with a laugh. "Meet me at Lowbridge Market, midnight. Bring a cart. I trust you'll do the right thing."
The door burst open and the Guards bundled in, but Ashe was already gone.
"Where'd he go, Commander," the guard called Green said.
"He jumped. Probably a splatter on the pavement."
"Sergeant Green to all units, lockdown the building. Marvel may be on the loose." He gestured his men back into the hallway, and they split off. Somewhere, an alarm started to sound.
Marina turned back towards the window, the breeze blew the shutters back and forth gently. The faint smell of burning drifted in, she imagined it would be some time before the air cleared entirely.
She considered Ashe's parting words. Despite her now solidified and unwavering hatred for the man, something about his desperate plea had reached Marina deep down, under all the layers of grief and anger that she didn't think she would ever be able to fully control.
Both of them, she supposed, were now irreparably broken. Marina knew this about herself for sure. She knew that the woman who had left for First Province was dead, in her place a coiled spring of vengeance and barely controllable fire.
She thought about Kal, and if he was here what he would have her do. It was a moot point, he was dead. His death the primary catalyst for the creation of this new, almost savage Marina she found herself inhabiting.
What would Kal have her do? He was always her guiding light, her compass in bad weather.
Marina knew the answer of course.
And she hated herself for it.
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